How do you view the glass?

A well-known proverb states that an optimistic would say a glass is half full,

While a pessimist would say it is half empty.

What would people of different professions and walks of life say?

The BANKER:

Would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net worth in liquid assets.

The GOVERNMENT:

Would say that the glass is fuller than if the opposition party were in power.

The OPPOSITION:

Would say that it is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.

The ECONOMIST:

Would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.

The PHILOSOPHER:

Would say that, if the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half anything?

The PSYCHIATRIST:

Would ask, "What did your mother say about the glass?"

The PHYSICIST:

Would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided into two equal parts; one a colourless, odourless liquid, the other a colourless, odourless gas.

Thus, the cylinder is neither full nor empty.

Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.

The SEASONED DRINKER:

Would say that the glass doesn't have enough ice in it.