Iran

TEHRAN,Iran – President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said an American journalist sentenced to eight years in prison on charges of spying for the U.S. should be allowed to offer a full defense during her appeal, the state news agency reported Sunday.

The statement came a day after Iran announced the conviction and sentence for Roxana Saberi, a 31-year-old dual American-Iranian citizen. It was the first time Iran has found an American journalist guilty of espionage and her lawyer said he will appeal.

"Prepare for the court proceedings ... to observe and apply justice precisely," the IRNA state news agency quoted Ahmadinejad as saying. He instructed chief Tehran prosecutor Saeed Mortazavi to personally ensure that "suspects be given all their rights to defend themselves" against the charges.

Saberi's case has been an irritant in U.S.-Iran relations at a time when President Barack Obama is offering to start a dialogue. A few days before Saberi's sentence was announced, Ahmadinejad gave the clearest signal yet that Iran too was willing to start a new relationship with the U.S.

The White House said Saturday that Obama was "deeply disappointed" by Saberi's conviction. The U.S. has called the charges against her baseless, and the State Department said Iran would gain U.S. good will if it "responded in a positive way" to the case.

Saberi's father said his daughter was not allowed a proper defense during her one-day trial behind closed doors a week ago. He also said she was tricked into making incriminating statements by officials who told her they would free her if she did.

Saberi was arrested in late January and initially accused of working without press credentials. But earlier this month, an Iranian judge leveled a far more serious allegation, charging her with spying for the United States.

The Fargo, North Dakota native had been living in Iran for six years and had worked as a freelance reporter for several news organizations including National Public Radio and the British Broadcasting Corp

prayer

During a weekly church meeting, a friend of mine was scheduled to read a list of people who had asked to be included in the congregation' s prayers.

Since another church member, Bonnie, had mentioned that she and her husband were struggling with a big decision on whether they should become missionaries, my friend offered to include them on the prayer list.

So at the meeting, my friend announced in front of the whole congregation, "Let's all pray that Bonnie and Lee can make a decision about the missionary position."

bud light

This guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. Doc, I think my penis is just too darn small," he says.

The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. Well, Budweiser," he replies quite bemused.

"Aaaahhh. There's your problem, it shrinks things, those silly American beers.. you should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow."

Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face.

He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doctor.

"Oh no, Doc," replies the man, "but I've got the wife on American beer!"

Circle of life

When I was in Junior High, all I wanted was a girl with big tits. In high school, I dated a girl with big tits, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time.

So I decided I needed a girl with some stability. I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything.

So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was directionless.

So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now all I want is a girl with big tits.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

Whatever you give a woman she will make greater.

If you give her sperm she will give you a baby.

If you give her a house she will give you a home.

If you give her groceries she will give you a meal.

If you give her a smile she will give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So if you give her any crap be ready to receive a ton of shit.

the bird Mr. Spade

A Canadian duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender,

“Ya got any bread?”

The bartender explains that they don't have a grill, etc. and discovers himself talking to an empty bar as the duck waddles out the door. This scenario is repeated day after day:

Duck: “Ya got any bread?”

bartender: “no!”

Finally in frustration the bartender says (while emphatically pounding his finger into the counter top),

“If you ask me for bread, I'm gonna nail your bill to this bar.”

Duck: “Ya got any nails?”

bartender: “no!”

Duck: “Ya got any bread?”

Chicken Surprise

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise', The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?'

The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise.'

'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck!'